


A Miracle

by cloudsforhong



Series: Tolkien Fic Week 2020 [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Dwalin - Freeform, Dwalin-centric, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mourning, Nori - Freeform, Tolkien Fic Week, TolkienFicWeek, dwalin babe i'm so sorry, how to deal with grief, mention of fili kili and thorin dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsforhong/pseuds/cloudsforhong
Summary: You're a glimpse of bliss, a little taste of heaven.PVRIS - St. Patrick
Relationships: Dwalin/Nori (Tolkien)
Series: Tolkien Fic Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756828
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	A Miracle

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is shorter than usual but I was briefly inspired by the song so let me be. 
> 
> This is Day 4 of Tolkien Fic week, Sadness or Happiness

Most of the times, Dwalin was unable to keep the thoughts away. It hadn’t even been a year since the battle, yet everything around him seemed to move on way too quickly. Dwalin couldn’t grasp how others could just let go, find new friends, let go of the past and forget.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to do. The thoughts of the fallen filled his every second, awake or not, his every dream was filled with Thorin coughing up blood, alternating with dreams of Fili and Kili running after him with blood running down their faces, screaming for him to save them while a horde of orcs hunted them down. 

Everytime he tried to simply relax, his breathing ways seemed to tighten up. The urging hands of the past closed around his throat, blocking his every attempt to let fresh air fill his lungs, to allow the present to take hold of his mind and body. 

Dwalin was sure nothing could make the hands go away. There was nothing to distract him throughout the day, he spent it all staring into his fireplace or into the distance. He tried going back to working the first few months after the battle, help with cleaning up, but he couldn’t stay focused on a task for longer than five minutes and eventually, he quit. 

He had even thought of visiting Bilbo in the Shire, but he knew that couldn’t give him the distraction he needed and he didn’t want to travel far by himself, scared of coming across places he might have visited with the company beforehand. So he stayed where he was, staring into the fire by day and trying to stay awake as long as possible during the night. He knew he couldn’t put off sleep forever (he had tried), but the less chances for nightmares he allowed, the better. 

He would’ve probably remained like that for the rest of his time, not really living but not really dead, if it hadn’t been for Nori. Nori, who came by every day and talked to him for a few hours. Nori told Dwalin about all the happenings of the city, the entire kingdom. He didn’t care if Dwalin didn’t really answer or, on bad days, didn’t even look at him. Nori allowed him to think about something that wasn’t the darkness resting in his mind. 

Sometimes Dwalin felt that Nori had become his only source of any slightest bit of happiness. He still sat in front of the fireplace for most of the time, but he wasn’t always alone with his thoughts. He found himself looking forward to the moment when Nori would turn the key to his house (he had given him a spare months ago), gave him a short kiss, and sat down with a sigh to tell him about his day. He never asked how Dwalin was feeling, he knew it was pointless to do so. He simply sat and talked. His words managed to make Dwalin forget about the hands pressing against his throat, when he listened to Nori, he sometimes managed to drown them out completely. And sometimes, when Dwalin felt his eyes fill with tears, Nori would hold him close and shield off all the demons that remained in the dark spots that no fireplace could ever reach. 

It was only thanks to Nori that Dwalin felt that maybe, some day, he could fully recover. Around a week ago, he had been able to even ask Nori some things about the gossip he told him. He had really managed to give him something to talk about, something that didn't somehow result in him crying for the next five hours. 

Yes, Nori was his own personal miracle and Dwalin knew he could never, ever let him go. Sometimes, he even thought of Nori as a saint, as some kind of guardian angel. He was always there when Dwalin needed him, knew exactly when he was having an especially bad day. Sometimes, he felt bad for never giving anything back. He knew Nori had his own problems too and he’d never fully be able to give Nori the support that he gave Dwalin. 

He almost managed to smile as he remembered Nori’s face when he told him that. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Nori had said, taking Dwalin’s hand in his own, “the first sentence you say today and you’re telling me that??” Dwalin had almost blushed, looking down and muttering a small apology, when Nori stood up and wrapped his arm around him. “Don’t apologize for feeling like this, my love. Seeing you get a little bit better every day is the only thing I need right now, whatever comes after we can face together.” 

Tonight he had finally gathered the courage to ask Nori if he’d stay the night. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he had muttered the words and wished seconds later he could take them back. Nori already gave him so much of his time, surely he wouldn’t want to spe- “I’d love that.” Nori had interrupted his thoughts before he could spiral and gave him the most heartwarming smile Dwalin had ever seen. 

And Dwalin, for the first time in months, smiled back. Maybe, breathing would become a bit easier again, after all.


End file.
